Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Pen & Sword, Book & Shield

Introverts are notorious for having their noses in books, not that we all actually do. I was recently reflecting on this though and realised that although I love reading, my habit of carrying a book with me wherever I go has a much more practical motivation. It acts as a shield.

Introverts generally dislike engaging others unessessarily, which of course includes all the random interactions one might have with other people while out and about during the day. Comments by others in line with us, small talk with the clerk at the register, people waiting with us at the cross-walk, in the break room, at the water fountain, in the hall, on the bus, before class starts, etc. etc. There are people everywhere, and most of them are extroverts who are wired to seek interaction, so they make eye contact, they smile, and they talk to whatever people they run into during the day. They think aloud to whomever is listening, and thus end up striking up conversations. They are focused on others around them and feel more comfortable when they can share the connection of conversation with them.

All these interactions tend to rattle and annoy Introverts. They are, in contrast, wired to not get involved, to respect personal space, to mind their own business. Most of us wouldn't dream of interrupting someone else's private thoughts or conversations, because to us that's just rude. We never assume someone else wants to be talked to, because we often don't. Whether we're enjoying staring at the scenery in silence, or busy thinking about things we're usually not very interested in being interrupted, particularly by someone we don't know and will never see again.

And that's where books come in so handy. Extroverts tend to interpret any unoccupied person as someone who is bored, lonely, and up for talking. Which can be very aggrivating to Introverts who enjoy going places alone and are perfectly happy just staring off into space on their own. So to fend off would-be talkers we avoid eye-contact, stare at our feet in a morose fashion, study the contents of our bag far too intently, and Read. We pull out our book and hold it up in front of our face, sometimes even when we don't even feel like reading, because this says "I'm busy" to all but the most decidedly extroverted people. While reading we can reasonably pretend not to hear others around us, even when they try to get our attention. When reading we don't have to smile at others, and we don't have to make ridiculously boring comments about the weather. A book provides a kind of invisible bubble aound us, separating us from the rest of the crowd, counting us out. With our book sheild we don't have to be rude by cutting short people's well meant efforts at conversation. A book generally deflects the attention of those looking for a conversation to pass the time and leaves us with blessed peace and relative solitude (if not of body, at least of mind).

And so we arm ourselves with a book when preparing to brave the masses.

It is also worth noting that the Introvert's dislike of conversation often extends even to his friends. Of course this isn't to say that Introverts don't ever enjoy conversation, they do most certainly with the right people at the right time. But Introverts also tend to really enjoy communication through writing. In writing one has a chance to stop and think about, and check and rephrase things, rather than just blurting them out before the conevrsation passes on. In writing everyone gets to say everything he intended to, because there is no interruption of a letter. In writing it may be easier to talk about 'deep' things, things other than the immediate surroundings and situation, things which might be harder to figure out how to express or explain. In writing one doesn't have to worry about how the other person is percieving your initial reaction. In writing you don't have to read, or respond, at the time chosen by the other person, you can choose a time when you're mind is ready to engage. In writing, the letters on the page are every bit as 'loud and clear' as anyone else's letters are, so there is no worry of being drowned out by a louder voice. Many introverts find it much esier to express their thoughts clearly in writing, rather than in on-the-spot conversation, and many find it easier to face a topic of controvesy or strong feelings through writing because in person they tend to be at a disadvantage with their quieter, meeker 'presence' which tends to cause them to be overlooked or disregarded. And so it is, that we write notes and type emails when others would just talk.